2 steps forward

This is a bit of a departure from my normal post but still inspired by meeting men. Last night I met a guy at a bar, Charlie. Seemed like a nice guy, definitely into me. It was great - I was starting to believe that I was the bad end of the string of horrible make-outs... but last night I learned that was not true at all. whoo hooo! The night was great, of course, until another girl appeared, they argued and she yelled, as she stormed off, "he's your problem now", and his reply to me "I don't know her, I just met her". Oh crap. At this point I was pretty drunk so I really wasn't seeing the situation as the clear disaster that it was. Today I sure do. And, it will likely be another 2 months before I show up at that bar again.

I feel like I've taken 2 steps back lately. Like a lot of people, I have some control issues. I over eat, over drink, over spend, over think... and when I make a mistake (or what I would see as a mistake, maybe others wouldn't) I dwell & beat myself up until the next thing happens to dwell on that instead. It's actually quite irritating. Thank goodness I have friends who always respond to my "did I really do that?" emails with calming, rational words of wisdom. I'd love to let stuff roll off my back but I'm way too hard on myself for that. I'll attempt fixing that at another time... for now I'll start with control.

So, in an attempt to get a little control back, today I moved my alarm clock to the other side of the room. I know it sounds unrelated, but I'm hoping, now, when the alarm goes off, I'll actually get up and get my ass in gear. That way, I think, next time when I'm flirting shamelessly with a "charlie", I won't be so willing to ignore all the clear signs of disaster.

And no, no numbers were exchanged, but only because Rockstar & I had to deal with a purse theft... had that not happened I probably would have drunkenly exchanged numbers with him and that would have been a bad idea.