slow starts

This week was a strange week for me and men. I'm mentally back on the horse... in the dating sense... and have met some very interesting people.

1. John. Lives in NJ, works for a vet, is tall, runs and walks a lot. Nice start! We had emailed a bunch and finally managed to get on the phone. We had a nice, LONG phone call last week. He's a nice guy and seems to like the same things I do but he's terribly boring on the phone. He talked about himself and his running for about an hour, he asked maybe one question about me. It was a decent conversation but I left the conversation completely enthused. He emailed me a day or so later asking to talk again, which I said yes to. Who knows, maybe the boring, one sided conversation was him being nervous? The problem is if the other person is talking I can always talk back. I think I'm being nice by talking back, continuing the conversation even when it isn't all that great, but that's misleading. Misleading the other person into thinking it's a good conversation. How do you tell the difference between it being just not right or just too early to tell? Well, I'll say this is a "just too early to tell" situation, but we'll see.

2. Saturday night I went out with Doug. Lucky for me, no pre-date phone call (I really don't love the phone). We had a nice date. His picture was cute, he's fairly cute in person but in a much more dorky 'I run the acapella team' kind of way. We seemed to have enough in common to have a decent time. But am I excited to see him again? Unfortunately not really. I know if we go out again, which today he asked, I'll have a nice time. He's a good conversationalist, interesting and easy to talk to... but, again, if the other person is talking back and is mildly interesting, it's really easy for me to get engaged.

I've always been the romantic sort that thought she'd know on the first date if he'd be a possible option, yes or no... but maybe that's the point of dating (and don't judge if I'm late to the party here). Maybe it's not misleading to go on a second date with someone you're not over the moon for because maybe it could take multiple dates to realize a really really dorky side and a small lisp is not something you write someone off for. I just want to meet someone and know! But is that realistic?

3. Tonight I talked to Keith on the phone. I had been avoiding him for weeks now. We met online, he sent me some very lengthy emails and gave me a fakingly hard time when I didn't write back. Well, my conscious got the best of me and I finally talked to him. What a nice guy. We had a great, fun conversation. But then again, if they talk back, I can talk about pretty much anything. Unfortunately, he's really intense, forward and he has a very strong personality with a very strong accent. He even said three times that I didn't seem "JAPy". At one point I thought he almost sounded gay... I think because he sounds exactly like my real estate broker. He even admitted he dvrs soap operas. BUT we had a nice conversation and, when he asked me out, I didn't have any real reason to say no. So I agreed to a date on thursday night. In the end, I think this guy will turn out to be my great, gay, guy friend, but I'm trying to be open minded.

Essentially, I have no idea what I'm doing. I have met people in the past where I knew on the first date I wanted to see them again. I was excited and interested and would day dream about what could be. I always thought that was a good sign and that's what I've been looking for. Is that silly? Does that create expectations that are unrealistic? Maybe I should, instead, be giving more serious thought to these slow starts. Stay tuned.